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We’ve seen the jokes, some have even bought the t-shirts (and onesies) that say, “They didn’t stay 6 feet apart!”  There are a LOT of people having babies all over the place!  My personal bubble of friends and family is experiencing a baby boom of it’s own and I’m LOVING seeing all of these new lives take shape and families made.  As Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing!”  With all of these new little piggies joining the group, I’ve had a LOT of questions about things that we consider to be great baby shower and new mama gifts.  So many questions, in fact, that I thought it would make a good post!  I’ve developed a couple of go-to shopping lists for a couple of different situations.  I have one list for a Baby Shower gift and another for a gift to give when visiting a baby who has already made it earth-side.

For the Baby Shower Mama

Here’s the list (and accompanying links) to the things I like to give for a Baby Shower gift!

1. Jujube Convertible Diaper Backpack

I use the diaper bag as the base for the gift.  This is the one I’ve chosen because we have the prior model of this bag and I can’t say enough about it.  It’s compact but spacious enough that I can pack everything I need for all four boys on a quick outing or a day at the sitter’s that they could need.  The pockets for the bottles and sippy cups are insulated so you can keep a baby bottle hot and a sippy cup cold for quite some time without a problem.  It’s easy to clean and doesn’t soil easily.  There’re more I could say but I won’t.  This one comes in two different colors.  I usually opt for black to play it safe and it’s worked well.  The rest of the gift items are placed decoratively inside of the bag and it turns out really cute.

2. Small Pack of Pampers Swaddlers & Single Pack of Sensitive Wipes

This little combination is a clever one on the part of Amazon.  They knew my name when they put this together because it’s a great addition to any new baby gift.  I like these sizes because I know that they would easily fit completely into the diaper bag and mama wouldn’t have to worry about taking from her home stash to get ready to go out.  We’ve been a Pampers family since the birth of our first.  Though we’ve tried a LOT of different brands, nothing has kept us as happy as Pampers has.

3. Single Pack of Water Wipes

Why do I love Water Wipes?  Let me count the ways! No harsh chemicals, so they’re safe to use on baby’s hands, face, and more.  They come in small packs, so they’re easy to pack.  The small packs are reasonably priced.  I always make sure to take a pack of these from my own personal back stock and add it to the gift for all of these reasons and more.

4. Swaddle Blanket

This is the blanket I love giving as a gift because it is great for baby and carries a sweet message for mama.  We swear by muslin swaddle blankets and this one is great.  They wash well, and they last!  

5. Baby Gown

In the early days with each of our guys, our favorite things to dress them in were baby gowns.  No snaps to fumble with, no worries about legs coming out of their sleeves on a sleeper, and easy to change diapers or outfits in the middle of sleepy nights and early mornings.  A gown always makes it into these gifts because they’re hard to find in stores anymore and I go with gray because there are so many fun hat and swaddle options out there with which these can coordinate.  This is my go-to order.

6. Earth Mama Angel Baby or Babo Botanicals Gift Set

I love these gifts sets.  We use organic and all-natural products for our babies and have loved the results.  No adverse skin reactions, no worries whatsoever!  The Earth Mama set is all sample-sized, so if I know this mama wants to try some things before she commits to something specific, that’s the route I’m going.  On the other hand, if I know this mama wants to take the all-natural/organic route and will use full-sized items, I will spring for the Babo Botanicals set as it is filled with full-sized products (hence the price difference).

7. Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter

When I was a nursing mama, this was my favorite stuff.  I tried quite a few different products and this one was, by far, the most soothing and caused the least interference with nursing/latching for baby.  We may not like to talk about it, but breast care for nursing mamas is EXTREMELY important! Nursing is hard enough for some of us.  Having products in our bag of tricks that can make it more comfortable is never a bad thing!  Slip this in there as a reminder for mama that, even though many of the gifts will focus on baby – she’s VERY important and so is making sure she’s taken care of!

8. Boogie Bottoms Diaper Cream Spray

When I had my first three, this stuff wasn’t on the market but I always thought, amidst caking my fingers with diaper cream on those sore butt days, “there’s got to be a better way.”  Someone heard my thoughts (and those of millions of other moms through the years) and made it into a SPRAY!  By the time my fourth came around, I found this and it’s stuck with our diaper bag and gone in a gift bag ever since!  You can get the new mama one bottle or three, doesn’t matter.  They’ll find they’re thankful!

9. Silicone Teether

When our guys were growing we found that these silicone teething toys were our favorite.  They’re non-porous, they’re molded (one piece with no crevices), and they’re adorable.  They’re easy to clean, attach to a pumpkin seat, and take in the bag for a distraction, when needed.  There are a million different kinds on the market.  There’s always one in the baby gift!

With all of these items placed (as cute as I can make it) into the diaper bag, I slip the whole thing into a gift bag and top with tissue.  It’s easy, quick to assemble, and FILLED with items that may or may not be on the registry, thought of by others as a gift, and used down the line.

For the Earth-Side Babe

We all know that, especially with quarantine and the crazy times in which we find ourselves, we may not always get the opportunity for a baby shower experience.  Sometimes, we get there after the gifts have been given and the baby is born!  That’s ok!  Below is a list of things I like to take to someone who already has everything she needs to care for a newborn – a little gift to grow on, if you will!

1. Wee Gallery Baby Art Cards

My sister gave us a set of these when my oldest was just a babe.  We have loved them to death and they finally died completely with baby number 4 (there’s a reason his big brothers call him the “Master of Disaster”).  The cards are visually stimulating for a baby and make tummy time a bit more enjoyable for them.  They also give you the chance to start introducing animal names and sounds… 

2. Wooden Rainbow Building Toy

This is one of those toys that you never really get rid of.  Our guys have used one of these from the early toddler years all the way up to 7.  Use it on it’s own, add it to a peg people set later, the possibilities are endless. 

3. Fabric Sensory Toy

This is one of those great little sensory toys that helps baby to grow in motor skills, and brain development.  It’s also washable and easy to pop in a bag on the go.

4. Wooden Cars

These little cars are easy for baby to grab and fun for them to fill around.  Another one of those toys that has grown with our guys from start to now.  They’re built to last and we love them.

5. Board Books

Nancy Tillman is one of our favorite authors.  She writes sweet books for babies and children.  We read at least one of them every day.  Our two favorite titles are On the Night You Were Born and The Crown on Your Head.  Since they come in board book format, they last much longer than the typical book and act as a great opportunity for a parent to share their love for their baby when they’re read.

6. Peg Popper Toy

This peg popper toy is a lot of fun.  It makes tummy time more interesting and engaging for a babe not completely convinced, and it makes fun play time for a toddler who is learning how to manage his motor skills and sorting abilities.  We have had this for years and still get hours of fun out of it every week.

7. Fidget Popper Toy

These little toys are great for sensory stimulation for a baby and gives a toddler something to do during times they may get board.  They’re safe to chew on, easy to clean, and fun.  Our youngest received one for Christmas and loves it.

Grab as many, or as few, of these items as you need for a quick and easy gift.  And congratulations to you for the new life entering your world!

At the end of the year last year I took a break.  I needed a break.  I think we all might have!  Our family made the annual pilgrimage to Mississippi to celebrate Christmas with our family there.  It’s never long enough, but it’s always special.  This year, we had the privilege of staying with family on our way down and back, as well, instead of risking it with lodging at a hotel to break up the long drive.  Those nights weren’t long enough either… but they were special!  I took the Bar Exam in February.  It wasn’t fun, but it was a privilege!  Realizing my feelings about these things put me on a track of thinking that I am, now, striving to make permanent.  Our lives aren’t long enough, but they sure are special.  My kids aren’t little for long enough but, oh, is that time ever so precious!  My time at home with them hasn’t been long enough but, it’s been unforgettable!

When I made a conscious effort to change my thinking on these things, especially on the days when things have gone more than a little sideways, I noticed that I saw everything happening in a different light.  SOME days it’s hard to look at the mess around me and see past it to the kids who were learning new things and making memories while they made it (and all the lessons they’ll learn in helping me clean it up)!  There are days that the little one using my body as his own personal climbing wall or refusing to let me work with demands to be held doesn’t seem like a reminder that he still needs me or that I need to slow down and focus on him, rather than the dishes.  The opportunities I’ve missed on those days don’t tend to hit me until they’re all tucked in for the night and I’m sitting on the couch in the quiet.  When I start to reflect on my day and thank Jesus that I made it through the crazy in one piece… I start thinking.  I start telling the stories of my [tiny] people to my husband.  It’s then that I realize what I missed in my stress and frustration.  It’s then that I get a little sad.

It happens to all of us.  We all do it.  We all miss things, whether we realize it or not.  It’s unavoidable.  And the realization that we miss these things may bring with it some level of guilt.  It can’t, though.  Because guilt doesn’t help!  Remorse makes  no difference here.  What does matter is that we see what needs to be changed and we change it.  I can tell you million stories about life at our house.  I can make you laugh for hours with the antics of this house full of boys. I could lay out, in intricate detail, the nuances of each of their personalities.  But for everything I can tell you, there are a million things I’m missing.  I can promise you, however, that today I am missing a LOT less than I used to.  

If quarantine has taught Ben and I anything, it’s that “socially distanced” has given us the time (and space) to be authentically present in our life together and in those of our children.  It’s hard to see a pandemic as a gift.  But for us, the resulting quarantine has been just that.  In almost 10 years of marriage (wow, really!?) we have never had an opportunity like this to just slow down, put a stop to all of the extra stuff, and focus on each other and on our boys.  It’s given us a great deal of time to reflect on our lives b.c. (“before covid”) and make decisions about what we want out of life a.d. (“after deliverance”).  I can tell you that one of the things we have committed to ourselves and each other is that we will continue to see all of the aspects of life, as often as possible, with eyes that find the gifts rather than the liabilities and the opportunity rather than the inconvenience.

So, in the time that has spanned between my last post and my current, we’ve started the seeds for the Spring, we’ve re-configured the garden, Ben and the boys have sifted 2 yards of compost and filled 3/4 of the raised beds.  We’ve refreshed the bedding in the chicken coop, we’ve done a lot of loving on our old lazy dog.  We’ve played outside almost daily.  The two biggest guys have started lacrosse, on the same team, and given us great games (and great brother-ing) of which we are very proud.  The two littles have given us snuggles and laughter.  And we’ve given each other more time to talk, to connect, and to enjoy the quiet moments  together (no 6-feet rule in this house).  We’ve striven to create more intimacy in our lives as a married couple, but also with our boys.  We have the deep conversations, we answer the questions (even when they’re the tough ones), and we take time to remind each of them that they are precious, loved, and irreplaceable.  As a result, we are seeing them do the same with one another as well.  Genuinely.  

My encouragement for you today, even as things begin to open up again and trees are in bloom: find the gift, see the opportunities, and cut out the noise.  Take it back to the basics for yourself and your family.  Reminisce about why you picked your spouse, let him remind you why he picked you.  Move forward with new traditions.  Drink the coffee, snuggle the kids, let go of the guilt, and just. breathe.

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When I was a little girl I spent a lot of time at my grandparents’ house, especially during the holiday season.  They were my home away from home.  Every year, right after Thanksgiving, I would go to their house and help them get their Christmas decorations out and put up.  There were evergreen garlands and red velvet ribbons on the front porch, there was an artificial holly and berry garland that hung on the fireplace mantel, a Christmas tree decked out in beads, tinsel, and icicle ornaments, and a village full of houses, shops, and an ice skating rink that was always set up in the bay window at the front of their home.  Grandpa and I always joked about beating the neighbors with our Christmas lights strung around their screened back porch – admittedly a humble offering against the neighbors who had spent tens of thousands on their light display… but ours was better, because we did it together.  After all of the decorations were out and put in their places, it was time for hot cocoa, gift wrapping, and conversation.  When I was in high school I can remember talking with Grandma about some of the things we could do to make holiday preparations easier for her as her health began to get a bit more unpredictable.  I suggested things like letting the people at the mall wrap the gifts, asking friends and family to come help me with the decorations so they didn’t have to work so hard, and maybe relinquishing some of the Christmas baking and cooking to the rest of the family so she could just “sit back and enjoy the holiday”.  She would have no part of it.  For her, and for mothers and grandmothers everywhere, there is something very special about “making the magic” for her family.  If others were doing it all, she wouldn’t be able to experience her favorite part of Christmas: watching the faces of the ones she loved most while they enjoyed the Christmas magic that SHE made for them.

I didn’t understand.  So many complain about everything it takes to get ready for the holidays.  All of the work to be done, decorations to be hung, and the “craziness” that comes with the parties, events, and merriment.  This woman, however, never viewed the holidays with loathing and dread like some I’ve spoken to.  For her, it was a chance to live her love for each of us out loud.  It was visible, it was palpable, and it was warm.  She helped me understand that everything she did at Christmas time (and every other time through the year) was done, not out responsibility, but as an outward act of love for all of us.  From that conversation forward, I looked at everything she did at the holidays differently.  As she said, “The magic doesn’t just happen, Erin.  It’s made by the mothers.  That’s part of the reason mothers never know what they want for Christmas – because what they really want is to watch their children enjoy the magic they made for them.  The tree, the cookies and pies, the lights, the traditions, the gifts… ALL of it brings the family together, fills them with warmth and love.  That’s what we are for our children.  Warmth.  Love.”

The conversation we had that night played a huge role in shaping me as a mother at Christmas time.  When we had our first son, there was very little thought given to what kind of magic we should strive to make for him at Christmas.  Until, that is, Thanksgiving rolled around.  The weekend after Thanksgiving all of her words came rushing back into my mind – she had passed away a few years prior to my marriage and the birth of our son, but it was as if she was sitting right next to me talking about “making the magic”.  This year, things are so different than they have been in the past.  Yes, we’ve added three more sons, and yes, we have some relatively established traditions by this point, but 2020 is just… different.  

We have done our best to protect the boys from as much of the hardship as possible this year.  We’ve quarantined but chosen the perspective that this is more of an opportunity to spend meaningful time together.  We’ve instituted Game Nights, Taco Tuesdays, and we’ve moved from actual grocery trips to grocery pickup in the parking lot, instead.  But with the pandemic has also come some hard realities for our guys.  Because our oldest was recently diagnosed with dyslexia and is still struggling to learn to harness all that comes with it, and because some of what comes with it is attention deficit, distance learning wasn’t going to help him to be successful in first grade – so we are homeschooling.  For the first time in my adult life, I’m not working a regular job.  While it’s been great from a learning perspective, it’s been hard on our very social kiddos.  They’re missing their friends from school and from the babysitter’s house, their cousins, and their routine.  So, to say that I want to make sure that my magic making is on point in 2020 more than ever is an understatement.  Maybe you feel the same way.  So, here is a rundown of our Christmas traditions in the hopes that you might find something new to add to your magic making this year.

The Tree

Each year, the weekend after Thanksgiving, we find a tree farm and choose our tree.  The boys each get to make a cut or two with the saw *with the direct guidance of their father* and we bring her home.  Once our “Merry Christmas Tree” is in our tree stand and well watered, we sit down to dinner and sip some cocoa before tucking our wide-eyed wonderers into bed.  Once they are asleep, the magic maker steps in.  I put the lights on the tree while they’re sleeping.  One of the first Christmas gifts I receive is that of their excitement when they come down the steps to our lit tree the following morning (made especially magical by the fact that they wake up before the roosters some mornings).  It’s. The. Best.  The decorations are placed on the tree the following evening by our little band of brothers – complete with some icicle ornaments (just like Grandma and Grandpa’s tree).

Advent Calendar

When we first got married, my parents gifted us an advent wreath made of 25 small boxes.  For the past few years we have done 25 days of kindness with a different act of kindness for each day.  Examples were as simple as holding the door for someone and as involved as creating care packages or delivering cookies to a nursing home.  This year, our 25 days of kindness has to change a bit.  So, this year, we’ll be removing those acts of kindness which can’t be done in accordance with social distancing and replacing those acts with the titles of the Christmas books we will read as a family, instead.  Here are a few of our favorites: 

• The Innkeeper’s Daughter
• Room for a Little One
• The Crippled Lamb
• Christmas in the Manger
• The Perfect Christmas Tree
• Humphrey’s First Christmas
• The Polar Express

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Speaking of favorite books… That leads us to another Christmas tradition!  This is one I was raised with and have, now, begun doing with my boys.  When I was a little girl, my mom read this book to my siblings and I the week before Christmas.  One Chapter each night.  Now, I do this with our boys.  We read and then we discuss.  Some of the story is a bit outside of their understanding, but that means they can ask questions and learn more from us about the nativity story than they do about Santa.  We, by no means, discourage the “Santa discussions” but we’ve chosen less of an emphasis on Santa and the North Pole than we do the birth of Jesus and the nativity story.  This is one way we can do that.

If you’re looking for a copy to give a try, here’s a link! The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Family Movie Night

From the moment Christmas begins in our home to the moment it ends, we watch our favorite Christmas movie – White Christmas.  Sure, Polar Express and The Grinch make it into the running as well, but White Christmas is our family movie night movie.  It’s the one we put a fire in the fireplace and pop the popcorn to huddle on the couch and watch together.  This is a tradition from my days with my Grandma – not the one who talked about making the magic… the one who showed me a different kind of magic at Christmas.  Her kind of magic was that of Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye with Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen on the silver screen.  Her kind of magic was ice cream right before bed, walking and singing Santa dolls, and crochet slippers on cold nights.  So, that’s the other magic maker I get to honor at Christmas… with this tradition… listening to our boys sing every word to songs like “Count My Blessings”, “Mandy”, and “We’ll Follow – We Love Him”, and “What Can You Do With a General”.

Christmas Eve

One more Christmas tradition from my own childhood that we’ve carried forward to our family – Christmas Eve pajamas.  Each Christmas Eve, before we read the final chapter of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, our boys open their Christmas Eve pajamas, we make some hot cocoa, and we snuggle in for the pageant night chapter of the book.  We finish our final discussion about what we’ve read, we put out the [almond] milk (milk allergies in this house) and cookies, and we say our prayers and tuck them in for their “[not so] long winter’s nap.”  While the story goes that mama should be in her kerchief and Dad in his cap… we get to snuggle up on the couch with a glass of wine and each other until it’s time to put the gifts in their places and fill the stockings.  It’s the pinnacle of magic making and I have a great partner in it.  The best, in fact.

Christmas Morning

Christmas morning always comes VERY early – when we hear the pitter pat of little feet clamoring down the hall above our heads, we know it’s time to get up and beat them to it!  Gifts go by like a blur and the looks on their faces are the best part of our year.  Christmas brunch, FaceTime chats with the Grandparents (Daddy’s parents) and Uncle, Aunt, and cousins in the south (or north if it’s a year we are celebrating in the south) and then time with the Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, cousins and extended family close by are what we do.  I’ve gotten a lot of questions, especially this year, about what we do about Christmas gifts.  There’s a post about that coming in the very near future.  But this is the magic.  This is the magic we make in our home, with our boys, as a family.  This. Is Christmas.  For us.

I know this post was a long one.  I know your wine glass may be empty by now.  But I hope your heart is full and your mind is thinking of the happy things Christmas means in your house and the ways you are going to change your routine to make Christmas, 2020 better than it could be without you at the helm of the magic-making for your family.  Traditions are special.  The people who helped us to form those traditions are even more so.  But this year, it may be time to make some extra traditions of your own.  It may be time to re-evaluate your perspective on the season – with a little less hustle bustle and a little more meaningful time together as a family.  Read the books.  Watch the movies.  Eat the fudge sauce.  And enjoy these moments.  Because even with a pandemic (and toilet paper shortage in the background), we have a great opportunity to be PRESENT more than ever before.  Take that opportunity and run with it! Take a note from Bing – count your blessings and have yourself a merry little Christmas.

The Golden Rule

Here’s my disclaimer… our “Golden Rule” is not the one you’re thinking of.  There will be talk of private parts.  Why?  Because we have four boys and almost every conversation had in this house circles back to “privacies” at some point.  BUT this story is important in order to understand why we have established “The Golden Rule” in our household.

About two years ago, our second-born had finished potty training and was getting pretty good at making it to the throne on time (with a few hiccups).  One day, in particular, it had been a little chilly and we had been out running errands.  Our now three-year-old was still in an infant seat, and our oldest was feeling very much the oldest and the manager of the family.  The untimely tinkler had developed a knack for needing to pee at the most inconvenient times and I hadn’t yet developed a backup plan.  Halfway home I see a little man wiggling nervously in the back seat before he says in a very worried voice, “Maaaama?  I weally has to pee!  NOOOW!”  We were three minutes from the house and there was no safe place to pull over.  When we pulled in the driveway I opened the van doors and sent him running, full speed, into the house to do his thing.  Of course, the big brother felt the need to supervise, “Mom!  I’ve got this!  If he has trouble with the button I have his 6!”  Fine!  I get the youngest out of the car, grab our stuff, close the doors and head in the house.  Upon opening the door I hear a blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom.  In comes the biggest brother to inform me that the one finding independence is not familiar with what happens to boys on cold days when their parts are exposed to the chilly air.  

I enter the bathroom where he’s crying and shaking… 

“Mama!  My parts are purple!  PURPLE!”

“Son, it’s ok!  It’s just a little chilly and that happens.  Why are you so upset?”

“Because, Mama!  What if it gets TOO purple and falls off like YOURS DID!?”  (Oh, dear.)

“Hey.  No, no, no.  Mama’s didn’t fall off!  God just didn’t give me one because he made me a girl and he made you a boy.  We have different parts.  Yours is firmly attached and it’s not going anywhere.”

“I don’t believe it, Mama.  I’m scared.”

“Ok.  Well, let’s finish your business in here and when Daddy gets home you can discuss your concerns with him.  He has those parts.  He’ll be able to explain it better.”

I serve lunch at the dining room table and there is immediate nervous chatter between the two oldest boys about how on EARTH God thought to make parts that change color when their hot and cold… how much better they feel knowing it won’t fall off.  Then the conversation turned to wondering what other tricks it would do!  It was at this point that the Golden Rule was created… 

“Gentlemen, we’ve got a new rule.  I want you to listen very carefully.  The conversation you’re having right now is not one which is appropriate to have around other people… or around food.  So, from now on, if you feel the need to discuss something that happens in the bathroom, or is seen in the bathroom, then the discussion has to take place IN THE BATHROOM.”  Both boys seemed satisfied enough and the discussion ceased. (Thank you, Jesus!)

Fast forward to that evening, the Dad was running a little later than usual coming home from work and by the time he arrived, dinner was on the table and we were all seated around it.  He comes in, sits down, we bless the meal, and we start to enjoy it.  The typical questions of how everyone’s day was, what was new, etc. are asked and answered.  It was amidst the silence that our frightened fella piped up, “DAD!  I’m SO glad you’re home!  Today when I went… wait… sorry, Mom.  Dad – um, can I talk to you in the bathroom!?”  SUCCESS!  I am mastering this thing!

After dinner was cleaned up, and the great bathroom summit of 2018 had occurred, our guys were on their way to their room to prepare for our book, blessing, bedtime routine.  They’re chatting amongst themselves on the way up the steps about their newfound knowledge.

Boy 1: “Wow, our Dad is really smart.  I’m glad we have him.”

Boy 2: “Yeah!  Me, too! I’m glad that it’s not falling off… and that Mom’s didn’t either!”

Boy 1: “Right!  Did you hear her say God didn’t give her one!?”

Boy2: “Yeah, it’s sad… But, then, if He didn’t give her one, what does she play with!?”

Boy 1: *shrugs* “Huh.  I don’t know.  Maybe Dad’s?”

And so it was.  There was a new rule in our household… and we reached a whole new season of our life with boys all in one night.  To this day, we still giggle about their assumptions.  We still laugh about their thought process.  And today, as our guys are outside doing jobs with their dad in the cold and run into the house, I hear, “Hey, bro!  I need to talk to you real quick – but we have to do it in the bathroom!”

Today, I laugh out loud and HARD.

When people look at me in public and see four little boys in tow, the interactions that follow are so consistent they almost seem scripted…  

-Oh, wow!  Are they ALL boys?

Yes.

-Oh, my goodness, FOUR boys!  You are so brave!

No.

-Oh, Mama!  You certainly have your hands full!

Yes!  My hands, my home, and my heart!  But the fridge is, most assuredly empty.

-FOUR!  Don’t you two know what causes that!?

We do.  But we like it and we’re good at it so we haven’t stopped yet.

-Wow!  That is a LOT of testosterone!  You are outnumbered, lady!

It is.  I am.  And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Even when we look at things online or in social media we see messages like “Boys: noise with dirt on it.”  We see t-shirts that say things like “Support wildlife – raise a boy” or “You can’t scare me, I have boys”.  In a world where there is such a negative tone about boys – I’m here to tell you… I was BLESSED to be a boy mom.  I was born to be a boy mom.  I will be protected by handsome men for the rest of my days.  And I LOVE being a boy mom!

Loud, Dirty, and Active

Every spring, after a long winter in the house together, and after our sweet boys have become comparable to sharks in a fishbowl, one of my favorite sights is that of a dirt ring around our bathtub.  Why?  It means a few things in our house.  First, it means that winter is over and we can now prepare for long, warm days of fun.  Second, it means they’ll be outside more and making messes inside less.  And, finally, it means they will FINALLY be able to wear themselves out so well that they want nothing more than to come inside in the evenings and snuggle their mom.

As I write this post, my boys are ages 7, 5, 3, and 1.  We have received new babies as frequently as our phones were due for upgrades.  I started Law School when our oldest was 6 months old.  Halfway through my first semester we found out we were expecting our second.  Our third was born about five months after I graduated.  And we discovered my fourth pregnancy about six months before sitting for the Bar Exam… for the third time.  Having four babies at various stages in my legal education has certainly slowed down the progression of my career and thrown me some occasional roadblocks in my journey to my law license.  Need proof?  My FOURTH and final attempt at the Bar Exam is coming to a blog space near you in February, 2021.  It’s hard.  It’s messy.  It’s a constant balancing act.  But when I was younger I knew I wanted three major things out of life: 1.  A husband who loves me and supports me, unconditionally (check!); 2. Children (quadruple check!); and 3. A license to practice law (work in progress).  When others have either asked the question or done the math about how I got my law degree and at what stages our children were born, I’m told I’m a “warrior”, I’m “amazing”.  I don’t feel that way at all.  I just feel like I have been given the opportunity for every BIG thing I’ve ever wanted out of life – and I’m not willing to let any of those opportunities go unaccepted.

In the past seven years of being a mother to these crazy, wonderful, affectionate, adventurous boys, I have discovered a few truths.  Our boys are loud.  Our house is loud.  Our life is LOUD – in all the best ways.  Our guys do everything outLOUD.  They play loud – whether they be roaring dinosaurs, amazing superheroes, brave public servants, or speedy race cars.  They can be engineers and give each other the step-by-step of their creative and building process or they can demolish a wooden block tower and be their own wrecking ball.  They sing loud.  They love everything from Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby to Veggietales Silly Songs to Queen to Imagine Dragons and all the way over to The Piano Guys.  Their musical range never fails to amaze me (and speak to my soul because I am a fan of many of those people as well).  Yes, they argue loudly, too.  The arguments don’t happen as frequently as I expected them to, but it happens, and are usually followed up with, “I’m sorry I yelled.  I just need a break from you for a little bit, I think.  Can we separate?”  But my favorite thing they do and do it LOUD?  They love SO loud!  They hug tight, they kiss hard, they snuggle long, and they yell their love LOUD.

Our boys are also, certainly, dirty.  Like dirty in a way I’ve never experienced before this season of my life.  Nothing has reinforced this observation more than this pandemic we are in.  Our family has tried our best to do our part and stay at home.  We have a bed of pea gravel (because when you have everything else, you don’t want SAND on top of it), we have a small chunk of land that has provided us plenty of space, and we have a long driveway that has acted as a GREAT racetrack for our little speedsters and their bikes (or scooters, or skateboards).  With all of this comes dirt, blood, sweat, and a few tears.  Since March, we’ve used up a total of SIX family-size boxes of bandaids.  Our first aid drawer in the kitchen (yes, we have a drawer) is constantly opened and closed and opened again.  My greatest tools to fight the grime (and occasionally bloody nose) are magic erasers, microfiber towels, and a mix of dish soap, vinegar, and water.  Every evening our tub has to be washed down and rinsed out because there is an ever-present dirt ring around it.  Our floors are vacuumed at least three times, daily.  Our dishwasher is always running.  And this year we had to replace our washer and dryer because the old ones cracked under the pressure.  We have boys, chickens, and a dog to contend with in this house.  There are bugs.  There are “beautiful” rocks.  There are buckeyes from the tree in our yard.  There is dirt and compost from the garden.  But there’s SO MUCH FUN!  The dirt, to me, is more a sign that they’re building great immunities and making awesome childhood memories and learning amazing things about nature (this year’s favorite was hatching a butterfly from a caterpillar found in our own garden).  But once they’re grown, every scar will have a story. And my house can be clean and museum-like when they’re gone.  For now, I’m just happy they are learning and growing and playing every. day.

If you’ve made it this far, you are probably one of the millions of moms out there looking for some witty wisdom, someone who can tell you that life with multiple boys is peaceful and serene, a place that might have just ONE of the answers you’re looking for, or any combination of the above.  Although I would love to tell you that the wisdom I have is well-documented by numerous reputable parenting experts and can be funny all at once –  I can’t tell you that.  I would also love to assure you that you can have a quiet and clean home while boys live under your roof… You’ll soon realize, I’m probably not your gal.  As far as answers, I’ve got suggestions… for some of your questions… and, while they’ve worked here, they may not work there.  We’re shooting from the hip with ours and yours are probably completely different in their own beautiful way!  What I CAN give you is someone relatable, chronicles of boy craziness and our survival of it, and stories of personal experience and the way we did it.  Ultimately, the best thing I can tell you today – You were made their mom for a reason.  You are BLESSED to be a boy mom.  God knew what he was doing when he gave them to YOU.  And you’re probably rocking it!  Especially when you feel like you aren’t.  I don’t know about you, but this “boy mom” life of ours – it’s just my kind of crazy, and I couldn’t love it more.